Success!

Whew! It's been a while, for sure. Sorry guys. In fact, it's almost been two weeks. Let me update you on my victories! Since this blog is supposed to be positive and not about rants. Actually, it's supposed to be honest but I'm trying to live a more positive life, honestly.

I started about a month ago exclusively breastfeeding. If you have read my earlier posts, you will remember that I struggled quite a bit with Lock latching, staying latched, staying awake, low milk supply, and guilt with formula feeding. To remedy the low milk supply I tried pumping and feeding so I could monitor how much Lock was eating. That was exhausting but my stress fell off my shoulders knowing I wasn't starving my child and that his crying wasn't hunger but maybe something else. Then the doctor told me I was feeding him too much. Ironic. But since I knew how much I was making because of pumping, I decided to face my fears and try only breastfeeding him again. I was terrified my life would go back to feeding him every hour and a half and that I wouldn't get any sleep again (Lock was sleeping 6-8 hours at this point) and I would again feel those dreaded feelings of failure. I told myself if his time between feedings shortens, I will just go back to pumping. Easy as that. I gave myself a finish line of four days and we would take it from there, God willing. Yes, I would shoot God a prayer for success every once in a while but never really having the faith that it would change.

Four weeks later....

Success! Exclusively breastfeeding! I knew it I knew it I knew it. And he only takes 20 minutes to eat now instead of the looming hour and a half. Cherry on top!

Whether Lock needed time to grow, or my milk supply needed some help to increase, there was a growing period of patience and perseverance. Determination as well? I had given up hope and was counting the days to 3 months when I would just switch over to formula for pure convenience and sanity's sake. Whatever caused my doctor to try and hide his reaction of disappointment or did I read him wrong when I told him I was heavily supplementing with formula, it kicked my determination button to have faith, jump off the cliff, and make the decision to try at it again. Plus, I was embarrassed to tell him I had given up.

All this to say, there is hope out there ladies (who might be struggling with breastfeeding right now)! After the first few weeks with Lock, I thought my dreams of being a good breastfeeding mom were not possible for me and my little one. No saving money, no nursing on the go, or having a smaller diaper bag. At two months, we did it Lock! Give yourself time, do what you can to relax yourself and avoid whatever stresses you out. Take a deep breath and remember, both you and your little one are still learning.

Random embarrassing thought: does/did anyone else wish human babies could be like animal babies (specifically horses) where they can stand and suck perfectly in just a few hours after birth? Shoot.. I'm taking this honesty thing too far...