Minute by Minute

The first few weeks.
I have had so much advice, both before Locklan was born and after, about what to expect in postpartum, how to treat myself, and how to breastfeed. I obsessed over the breastfeeding advice determined to be a rock star in record time. I figured I could handle the postpartum problems just fine as I have been on that emotional rollercoaster my whole life. The advice to take care of myself went in one ear and out the other (to be cliche). I figured I would have the energy and time between feedings to be my own person again and do things around the house enjoying my time free from employment. I wasn't going to be a lazy mother. I was going to jump right back on the train! I was sadly mistaken. My body repeatedly told me to slow down. And so did Lock. It was to be on his schedule and his alone. I expected room for multitasking, but with a child attached to my chest there was only so much I could do. My mind would race around thinking of everything I could get done when he finished eating, and so I would hurry him through, frustrating both of us. "One day at a time, love," my mom reminded me. "Don't worry about the house. Your life is about keeping Lock healthy now." I still became frustrated and overwhelmed thinking of how many more times I would need to feed him and how little time I had to myself. No. It needed to be "one minute at a time". No more thinking ahead of what I can do between each feeding or when Lock is sleeping because who the heck knows when that will be or how much time I'll have. One minute at a time. No thinking of laundry and visitors and grocery shopping. Only each moment with my little Lock will do. Rest and restore. life